Archive for the ‘Top Ten’ Category
Monday, August 16th, 2010
 Charles' customised keyboard did little to disguise his intentions. I ran into a neighbour of mine the other day and asked him why he was selling his house. He genuinely looked surprised and asked me how I knew. Mmm… lucky guess, but the large For Sale sign was a bit of a clue. The same sort of thinking can also be found in our offices and our teams – people scurrying about applying for new jobs, thinking that the rest of us are blissfully unaware of their intentions. Like the For Sale sign, the clues are starring right at you! Here are my Top Ten Signs That Your Employees Are Looking For New Jobs:
| 10. |
There’s a rash of doctor’s appointments, car trouble, children finishing school early or any other superficial excuse needed to disguise interviews with potential employers. |
| 9. |
They seem to be spending an inordinate amount of time at the printer and photocopier. You would too if you need to scan, print and photocopy your identity document, Matric certificate, university degree, CV or résumé, reference letters, most recent payslip and a PowerPoint-generated “An Introduction to PowerPoint 2003” certificate. |
| 8. |
They’ll casually test you with questions like “If you had leave owing, would you take the leave or ask to be paid out instead, less the tax deduction… hypothetically speaking of course.” Not very subtle. |
| 7. |
They’re blasé about tasks that need to be completed in more than one calendar month’s time. Someone’s a little confident… |
| 6. |
They take full advantage of the newspapers that the company subscribes to… to thoroughly investigate the jobs section. This job search is usually done after hours, so wait a little, creep up behind your soon-to-be-former-colleague and suddenly exclaim “What you doing?” They’ll turn to the sports section of the paper faster than a surprised graduate pressing ‘Alt’ + ‘Tab’ when caught surfing porn during office hours. |
| 5. |
When you ask for a progress update in a meeting, they tell you where they see themselves in five years time. Force of habit, I suppose. |
| 4. |
They keep dropping hints round the office, saying things like “You’ll miss me when I’m gone”, “It’ll take months to train up my replacement” and “No one else here knows how to put animated kitten borders on Word documents”. What will we do without those animated kitten borders?! |
| 3. |
Internet usage changes from news, sports, Facebook and LOL Cats, to jobs, interview techniques, LinkedIn and Google Maps, which they’re using to work out their new route to their new job. And of course, porn. What are they going to do, fire you? |
| 2. |
You start getting a large number of calls from recruiters and HR people all wanting to check references. Most employees who ask you to provide references for them often forget to tell you they’re looking for jobs again, thus subverting their plan to keep their new job hunt under wraps. Answer the questions loudly on your phone and soon everyone in the office will know. Confront the forgetful minion, asking “I’ve been getting a lot of calls from recruitment agencies recently. You aren’t looking for a new job are you?” Relish the subsequent squirming! |
| 1. |
They start dressing better. This is a vain attempt to camouflage when they really have to dress up for an interview. A sure sign is a well dressed employee leaving early for a doctor’s appointment. Since when do doctors insist on formal attire for a prostrate exam? If you run into a well dressed colleague, ask them how many interviews they still need to attend. |
Monday, June 21st, 2010
 Wanted for facepainting I’m finding it very difficult to get anything useful done at the office. And seeing that I bill by the hour, this is proving to be as annoying as a VIP convoy bludgeoning its way through peak hour traffic (being late for a soccer game isn’t an emergency). Team members are taking leave every second day to watch soccer games, attendance at my meetings is falling as people leave work early, despite me offering to brand only three people per meeting as work-shy lazy bastards (WLBs) and those that do make it to the meetings arrive late, offering flimsy excuses like “We were stuck in traffic”. Apparently, while stuck in traffic this group of WLBs were attacked by a gang of Argentineans fans who mercilessly painted the Argentinean flag on their faces. Given this complete abandonment of responsibility, I’ve decided to exact my own revenge as only a reluctant management consultant can. So, here are my Top Ten Ways to Annoy Soccer Fans at Work:
| 10. |
Start by cancelling people’s leave. Then offer a “compromise” by insisting that the person complete all of their deliverables before they leave. They’ll work frantically, you’ll get what you want and they’ll even thank you for being kind enough to let them have the day off. Now that’s what I call win-win! |
| 9. |
Tell people that they shouldn’t expect to progress very far in the organisation if they insist on dressing so unprofessionally. Do this on Football Fridays. |
| 8. |
Schedule a performance appraisal at 16:30, just before the Brazil vs. Portugal kick off. Allude to a potential bonus to ensure that the football nut attends. If he doesn’t then at least you have a handy excuse not to give him a bonus. Failing to attend your own performance appraisal is a serious matter indeed. |
| 7. |
Everyone who misses work over the next few weeks has to attend a compulsory Basel II refresher training course, not forgetting the mandatory four hour, Friday afternoon competence assessment. |
| 6. |
Anyone caught blowing a vuvuzela during office hours will be sent to man European broadcasters’ call centres, fielding calls from their boring viewers complaining about the incessant drone of the vuvuzelas heard during soccer matches. |
| 5. |
Try the ever reliable fire drill. People who aren’t at the assembly point and whose whereabouts can’t be verified because they’re attending a soccer match will be assumed to have perished in the “fire” and will be deleted off the payroll system. These individuals will have to reapply for their positions. |
| 4. |
Switch off all the TVs in the building. People are very compliant; very few of the herd will think to just switch them back on again. |
| 3. |
Allow access to Facebook, YouTube and Twitter for just a day. Once word spreads, droves will climb on the internet, trying to take advantage of this momentary lapse of corporate reason. Then, on days of your choosing, discipline staff members for accessing unauthorised sites during work hours. Savour the irony by recording these disciplinary hearings and posting them YouTube. |
| 2. |
Replace Football Fridays with You’ve Been Made Redundant Mondays, followed by Time to Work Tuesdays, Whine to HR Wednesdays, Tell Someone Who Cares Thursdays, You’re Fired Fridays and my personal favourite, Guess Who’s Working This Weekend Saturdays and Sundays! |
| 1. |
Armed with a leather folder and wearing a suit and a tie, walk up to groups of people sitting in pause areas watching the soccer and ask them for their employee numbers. This works really well in retail banks, government departments and France. |
Monday, May 3rd, 2010
 How to succeed in business using only PowerPoint and shadow puppets... My fellow consultants and I have very different views on Microsoft PowerPoint. Some love it and will use it at every opportunity. This group will type their shopping lists in a bulleted text box; they’ll use it for agendas, ensuring that every agenda item will “fly in” from the right and, quite sadly, will show you their holiday photos in a slide presentation. Others loathe it and will desperately avoid using PowerPoint as much as a conservative accountant steering clear of suspense accounts. As with the latter, it’s regarded as being a necessary evil. I’ve often thought of accountants as being a necessary evil, but that’s the topic of another blog to come.
I’ve been euthanised far too many times by PowerPoint presentations. Who amongst us has not quickly glanced at the number of slides in a presentation and smashed your head on the boardroom table, hoping that a concussion might get you excused? But, I must confess, PowerPoint does have its uses and just between you and me, I actually enjoy using it. It’s not as exciting as Excel, but then again, what office software product is? So, here then is my top ten list of things I like about PowerPoint:
| 10. |
I can use it to substitute for a real document. Why write out a whole proposal in Microsoft Word, when five PowerPoint slides will suffice? Now my laziness can be cleverly disguised as brevity. |
| 9. |
Why even write full sentences when curt bullet points will work just as well. |
| 8. |
PowerPoint’s “snap to grid” function is great for the obsessive compulsive in me – everything lines up super-neatly! And speaking of being marginally OCD, like the shirts in my cupboard, objects can be conveniently colour-coordinated. |
| 7. |
Giant cue cards! Just use PowerPoint as per normal, projecting your slides on the screen while sneakily creating the impression of immense preparation and rehearsal.Think of it as killing two birds with one PowerPoint presentation – the audience gets a brilliant presentation, while I get to project my cue cards on the big screen! |
| 6. |
Integrating amusing video clips downloaded from the Internet means laughs for you at no extra expense. Who doesn’t love cats juggling, serving as a mixed-metaphor for the complexities of leadership? |
| 5. |
I can express myself creatively… using shapes, colours and pictures all designed by someone else. Think of it as outsourced inspiration. I did fail a term of art in junior school after all. |
| 4. |
Custom animations keep the dullards awake and entertained… something about small things occupying small minds… |
| 3. |
Fellow consultants are hugely impressed when I casually press ‘B’ to get a black screen or ‘W’ to get a white screen (in presentation mode), blanking the slides and giving me an opportunity to ramble on about something I forgot to include in the presentation. They’re impressed because the previous speakers all stuck pieces of paper and an envelope in front of the projector to achieve the same effect. Amateurs! |
| 2. |
Reusability of slides. Create slides once in a flash of productivity and then reuse them at your leisure. Think of it as reducing your unit cost per slide over the long run. |
| 1. |
Flip charts are great, but so difficult to convince the airline stewards that they’re hand luggage. |
Monday, March 22nd, 2010
 Another productive team meeting... Maintaining a laser-like focus, 100% commitment and marathon runner endurance and motivation is very difficult for the average employee, and let’s be honest most employees are below average. So is it any wonder that every now and then, and by that I mean regularly, people at work will procrastinate. In the interests of being both helpful and educational here’s my Top Ten Tips for Procrastinating at Work:
| 10. |
Build a fancy Excel spreadsheet for a less than important, perhaps even random, reason. How about a spreadsheet used to calculate how many days, hours and minutes left until Friday/next Public Holiday/Leave/release date of the next Jessica Alba movie? Try adding some informative graphs and possibly even write a macro to refresh the sheet intra-day. If you don’t know how to write a macro, now might be a good time to learn… using Microsoft’s ever so unhelpful Help files. |
| 9. |
As part of your personal Back-up and Disaster Recovery Plan, back up your PC to a shared drive and a DVD. Now, you can’t possibly work on your computer while it’s busy backing up – that would just be inviting unnecessary risk into the organisation! Go grab a cup of coffee instead, it’s far less risky. |
| 8. |
Schedule a one-on-one meeting with one of your minions… I mean employees. Explain that sometime we’re so busy that we don’t get a chance to connect as people. Then encourage said employee to discuss how they’re doing at work and how they like working for you. Use the time perfect your “meditating with eyes open” technique while your valuable team member blabbers on and on. |
| 7. |
Surf the intranet site. Open organisation charts, read HR policy documentation and visit random department’s intranet sites to see what boring things they do and then lurk by checking out their annual teambuilding photos. |
| 6. |
Adopt that powerful management technique, as used by Bill Hewlett and Dave Packard, founders of the rather cleverly named Hewlett-Packard (I wonder if they considered Bill-Dave?), Management by Walking Around, rather cleverly abbreviated to MBWA. This genius technique can be achieved by simply… well… by simply walking around. Tom Peters would be so proud. |
| 5. |
Hire a consultant and get them to do whatever you were meant to do. Let’s face it, they’ll probably do a better job and get it done in half the time. They may cost more per hour than your annual bonus but that seems like a fair price to pay to organise the office barbeque this Friday. |
| 4. |
Print a one hundred page document and then go and stand at the printer while you wait for your tome to be printed. Bonus tip: Try and time your printing to coincide with the paper or the toner running out. The latter is preferable because it now means you have to go find a replacement which may mean going to another floor… in another building where there’s no guarantee that they even have the same model of printer as you, let alone the same cartridge. It’s a risk that you’re willing to take. |
| 3. |
Attend a meeting, get angry and get the meeting postponed for a really trivial, but pseudo-important reason. For example, complain that all the actions from the last meeting have not been completed. Storm out the meeting room, but not before ranting that “If this is the kind of attitude that people take in this team, then there’s really no point in having a follow-up meeting. I’ve really got far more important things to do than to waste my time discussing what should have been finished last week.” Feel free to grab another latte. |
| 2. |
Participate in a fire drill… even if it’s not your company. Just for entertainment value, wear a brightly coloured bib and pretend to be an emergency official. Scold people for not taking the fire drill seriously. |
| 1. |
Call the employee assistance line and ask for help with… procrastination! |
Got any other ideas for procrastinating at the office? Let me know at diary@jeetesh.net See you next week.
Monday, March 1st, 2010
 One should not consume a portion of popcorn that requires a container large enough to fit your head in! Having just returned from my first trip to the USA a little heavier, a little poorer and a little jet-lagged, I’ve taken some time to reflect on my journey. Here’s what I learnt over the last two weeks:
| 10. |
When at the movies, order the kids size Coke and popcorn. A “regular” sized drink is enough to water a garden and the adult size popcorn is so big, it comes in a bag the size of a small child. In fact, you might even consider buying a kids size bag of popcorn for your bag of popcorn, just in case it gets peckish during the movie. |
| 9. |
Customer service people generally appear to want to know how you’re doing and genuinely seem to hope that you will really and truly enjoy your day. The South African response is usually to punch said customer service person in the face for being so inquisitive. |
| 8. |
Please take note South African banks: the American bank branches I visited are open from 09:00 to 18:00 on weekdays and for some branches, on Saturdays from 09:00 to 16:00. They don’t seem to have a need to rush home to watch soap operas. |
| 7. |
Paying for anything that costs less than $40 with a $50 note will arouse great suspicion, sometimes even requiring a supervisor’s approval before payment is accepted. People in the queue behind you will glance nervously in your direction, whisper amongst themselves and give you a little more room in case you need to make a quick getaway. This seemed strange to me until I worked it out that a $50 note is like having a R380 note, which now explains the consternation behind the counter at McDonalds when I tried to pay for my Happy Meal… |
| 6. |
The staff at the Apple store get a little annoyed when you refer to everything prefixed with an ‘i” – e.g. iRestroom, iCredit Card, iWrapping Paper, etc. Now they know how I feel! |
| 5. |
My stand-up comedy routine about me cutting the cheese in my dad’s shop is doubly funny because in the US “cutting the cheese” is a euphemism for farting. |
| 4. |
Leaving the US is a lot easier than getting in. Getting into the US involves forms and photos, proof of employment and income, interviews and interrogations, fingerprinting and frisking… and that’s just to get a reservation at “The French Laundry” (the restaurant, not the laundry). Leaving the US is as complicated as a cursory glance at your passport and boarding pass, a pat on the back and an invitation to join the airlines’ frequent flyer program. |
| 3. |
Stay away from people who’ve just ordered a venti Starbucks coffee – they’re very jumpy. You would too if you need to drink 591ml coffee in one go! |
| 2. |
People handing out free samples really want you try their free samples. The South African response is usually to punch such a person in the face for trying to get us to do something that we quite clearly don’t want to do because that might imply that we’re actually interesting in buying the product on offer. Visit any Makro liquor outlet on a Saturday morning and you’ll see what I mean. You can drink six glasses of wine and four shots of spirits from “tasting” tables alone without even buying as much as a corkscrew. This is for your information, not an invitation… |
| 1. |
Enforcing the minimum legal drinking age of 21 seems to be taken very seriously in the US. I was asked for ID twice. I admire their enthusiasm but I am 35. |
Monday, February 8th, 2010
 The George W. Bush Presidential Library Last week I presented my Top Ten list of the Easiest Jobs in the World. Clearly Apple users and Porsche drivers (or perhaps aspirant Porsche drivers?) are very passionate about their chosen brands and certainly let me know about it. I’ve referred the Apple users to my iComplaints line where they can iVent. Porsche readers aren’t available to read this week’s blog as they are busy compiling a definitive and comprehensive list of at least three visible differences between the current and previous 911 models.
This week I’m sure to irritate Alfa Romeo drivers and the Afghan tourist authority. Personally, I’m more concerned about the latter. Here’s my list of Top Ten Most Difficult Jobs in the World:
| 10. |
Lady Gaga’s stylist. No experience necessary. |
| 9. |
Architect for the George W. Bush Presidential Library. How do you design a $200 million library when the one and only book associated with George W. Bush’s presidency is “The Pet Goat” by Siegfried Engelmann and Elaine C. Bruner? |
| 8. |
Head of the Alfa Romeo Six Sigma programme. |
| 7. |
Charlie Munger, Warren Buffet’s sidekick, who at 86 must be wondering when he’ll get a chance to run Berkshire Hathaway. That youngster Buffet (79) has had more that his fair share of the limelight! |
| 6. |
Arnold Schwarzenegger’s speechwriter. It’s so difficult to write speeches where you’re trying to convey a sense of gravitas whilst limited to a list of only one hundred easily pronounceable English words. |
| 5. |
Anyone working in the US government with the word ‘czar’ in their title, e.g. Drug Czar, the Cyber Security Czar, the Terrorism Czar and the War Czar. You inherit a fancy title but also political hot potatoes, practically unsolvable problems and unrealistic expectations. And let’s face it, what are your chances of success when you consider that the last Tsar of Russia, Nicolas II, abdicated and was later shot? |
| 4. |
Pete Doherty’s substance abuse sponsor. |
| 3. |
Toyota’s Head of Public Relations. Accelerator pedal problem? What accelerator pedal problem? |
| 2. |
Chief Executive Officer of the Afghanistan Tourist Authority. Welcome to Afghanistan and please enjoy your stay. Now featuring our famous “All the Adrenaline You’ll Ever Need” Tour of Helmund province, visit what’s left of Tora Bora and embrace nature by helping to harvest poppies with the locals. Please feel free to show your appreciation for your heavily armed security staff with a generous tip. |
| 1. |
Mike Rowe, host of the Discovery Channel’s “Dirty Jobs”. While we appreciate Mike collecting bat guano, cleaning septic tanks and making dog food out of tripe, all for our entertainment, there must be an easier way for this guy to earn a living on TV! |
Any other suggestions for the most difficult job in the world, let me know at diary@jeetesh.net
Next week I’ll be writing to you from a probably cold and wet San Francisco. I’m not saying that there’s racial profiling at the airport, but given that I’m a single, light brown fellow, travelling from Africa, I’m going to get to the airport at little early…
Monday, February 1st, 2010
 Change Manager hard at work, thinking about scheduling a workshop to discuss "feelings". Like many of you dear readers, I procrastinated my way through school and university, trying to absorb entire textbooks the night before exams, all in the vain hope of getting a good job and earning a good salary. Then I became a management consultant and that dream died a sad and dull death. But every now and then I come across people with super cool jobs, making stupendous amounts of money for doing very little. And sometimes their jobs aren’t even remotely cool, but they get paid stupendous amounts of money to make up for it. Sometimes I wish I had one of the easiest jobs in the world, such as any one of these fine examples:
| 10. |
Porsche design team. Their design philosophy: ensure new models resemble previous models as closely as possible, except for the Cayenne, in which case make it look as ugly as possible. |
| 9. |
South African Minister of Sport – job description includes watching sport, commenting on sport and meddling. All without having been involved in any form of actual sport in the last forty years… sort of like your know-it-all, couch potato uncle but without the black S-class Mercedes Benz and the four car escort. |
| 8. |
Scriptwriter for “Lost” – key principle: it doesn’t have to make any sense whatsoever! |
| 7. |
Kanye West’s confidence coach. |
| 6. |
McDonalds Mystery Shopper – travel round the country sampling McDonald’s fine, if identical menu, rating the meals, confirming that they all taste exactly the same: sawdust and ketchup in a cardboard bun. |
| 5. |
Krispy Kreme “hot-doughnut-free-sample-giver” – 10,000 diabetics killed and counting! |
| 4. |
Chairperson of the ANC Ethics Committee. Conflict of interest? What conflict of interest? |
| 3. |
Apple’s new product name giver – just add an ‘i’ in front of everything, e.g. iPod, iPad, iLazy. |
| 2. |
Change manager – job involves ephemeral things like communication, stakeholder management and receptivity to change. There’s no plan and no discernable deliverables (unless of course you count a chocolate on everyone’s desk, with the quote “The only constant is change” stapled to it, as a deliverable). All you get is an invoice at the end of the month for “Change Activities”. |
| 1. |
The long-legged, blonde and brunette in tiny “military” dresses plying patrons with Smirnoff vodka Moscow Mule cocktails on Friday afternoon at JB’s Corner. We bought twelve! |
Any other suggestions for easiest job in the world, let me know at diary@jeetesh.net
Monday, January 4th, 2010
 Another year, another list of unachievable New Year's Resolutions Intoxicated with the assurance of a fresh start to the year, I too make New Year’s resolutions. It’s a great time of year and before you know it, you’re caught up in the rush of making promises you can’t keep, setting goals that are ambiguous, immeasurable, unattainable, unrealistic and unbound by any measure of time in our known universe and of course, swearing to go to the gym more often… starting next week.
So, after much thought and careful consideration in Woolworths queue, I’ve come up my Top Ten New Year’s Resolutions for 2010:
| 10. |
Stop making fun of fat pople who’ve just joined the gym as a result of making a New Year’s resolution. At least they’ve made the effort to join the gym. But there’s a lot working against them, including heart palpitations, shortness of breath and the cupcake shop just outside the gym I go to. |
| 9. |
Remove my “Cancer – Death on an Instalment Plan” poster from inside the smoking room, not because of the complaints but because the poster’s now yellow. |
| 8. |
Stop pointing at midgets and giggling. |
| 7. |
Always ask lazy asses why they’re taking the lift up or down just one floor. |
| 6. |
Be nice to auditors – not all of us are as passionate as they are for ticking things with different coloured pens. |
| 5. |
Stop asking work-shy lazy bastards (WLBs) reading newspapers in the client’s library for their employee numbers. It freaks them out and disturbs the other people legitimately using the library. |
| 4. |
Stop laughing out loud when people reach for a calculator to make basic calculations like trying to work out 10% on a restaurant bill. Stop making it worse by inviting other people in the restaurant to come and witness this grand display of stupidity. |
| 3. |
Stop dancing like John Travolta in Pulp Fiction while on a teleconference with colleagues in London. |
| 2. |
Stop using Excel for shopping lists and PowerPoint for break-ups. Agenda usually includes:
- The Current Relationship Context
- Why It’s Not You, It’s Me
- Graph demonstrating the “We’ve Just Grown Apart” Differential
- Outstanding Issues (including friends to be claimed, CDs to be returned and stalking ground rules)
|
| 1. |
Return to sending retrenchment notices by letter instead of last year’s novel approach of using bulk SMSs (U R Fired!  C U L8ER). People don’t seem to appreciate the cost savings (25c per SMS versus R1.83 per printed page and envelope, assuming hand delivery, in case you’re wondering). |
Sunday, September 20th, 2009
 Cost cutting reaches rock bottom... It’s been just over a year since Lehman Brothers tanked and during the week Ben Bernanke optimistically said that the US is technically out of a recession, which is great news for the ex-Lehman Brothers’ employees cleaning windscreens in New York. I don’t think we’re out of the woods just yet, although with Eskom increasing their CEO’s salary and magic pseudo-share options, you’d never say. So, just before those now cliché green shoots take hold, your company may decide to have one more round of cost cutting.
Here then are my Top Ten Signs that your company might be cost cutting:
10. Elevator music is now provided by a graduate with a Casio keyboard, who is surprisingly better than the usual elevator music
9. The company’s shuttle bus is now taking tourists on trips to Soweto
8. Under the guise of being green and promoting employee wellbeing, all the escalators in the building have been turned off
7. Participating in Corporate Social Responsibility activities now means helping your fellow man by manning the call centre after hours
6. A cover charge will now apply for all birthday parties, farewells, baby showers or any other celebration held on company premises
5. Company contributions to retirement plans have been reduced and have now been replaced with the option to join a pyramid marketing scheme (all calls must now be answered with “Do you have a dream?”)
4. Training budgets have been significantly reduced which means teambuilding events will now be held on Skype
3. The employee assistance line now diverts to Dr. Phil
2. The budget meal in the canteen is now called the “Zimbabwean Dollar” option
1. The toilet paper in the bathroom mysteriously goes from two-ply to one-play recycled
Sunday, August 16th, 2009
Being a consultant means that you get to experience a large variety of clients and projects in a short space of time. While some people work for the same organisation for years and years, my stay at a client can be anywhere between three and eighteen months. Sadly for me, this means I get to attend far more teambuilding events than most people. I’ve done it all, abseiling, advanced driving, building houses for charity, an Amazing Race knock-off (confined to the grounds of a casino!) and even teambuilding theatre (“To leave early or not to leave early, that is the question)! Some events were loads of fun and great for building a team. Most were just an excuse to get out of the office. So, how do you know if you’re going to have a bad experience? Here are some clues:
Top Ten Signs That You May Be Attending a Bad Teambuilding Event
10. The invitation says bring running shoes, a balaclava and bolt cutters
9. An action-packed, adrenaline-filled day spent with a debt collector in Berea
8. You split up into teams… according to weight
7. You’re participating in a “Homes for Humanity” project… in Hillbrow!
6. An exciting day of indoor, wall climbing… at the Cape Union Mart in Sandton City
5. The Advanced Driving course is held in the office car park instructed by the Albert the car guard… using your car.
4. The long-awaited trip to a relaxing spa, is actually the Groenkloof Spar in Pretoria
3. Your facilitator is wearing a leotard
2. The theme is “Survivor – Joburg CBD” (tribal council decides who gets retrenched).
1. Two words: Kamp Staaldraad
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