Top Ten Easiest Jobs in the World
Monday, February 1st, 2010
Change Manager hard at work, thinking about scheduling a workshop to discuss "feelings".
Like many of you dear readers, I procrastinated my way through school and university, trying to absorb entire textbooks the night before exams, all in the vain hope of getting a good job and earning a good salary. Then I became a management consultant and that dream died a sad and dull death. But every now and then I come across people with super cool jobs, making stupendous amounts of money for doing very little. And sometimes their jobs aren’t even remotely cool, but they get paid stupendous amounts of money to make up for it. Sometimes I wish I had one of the easiest jobs in the world, such as any one of these fine examples:
| 10. | Porsche design team. Their design philosophy: ensure new models resemble previous models as closely as possible, except for the Cayenne, in which case make it look as ugly as possible. |
| 9. | South African Minister of Sport – job description includes watching sport, commenting on sport and meddling. All without having been involved in any form of actual sport in the last forty years… sort of like your know-it-all, couch potato uncle but without the black S-class Mercedes Benz and the four car escort. |
| 8. | Scriptwriter for “Lost” – key principle: it doesn’t have to make any sense whatsoever! |
| 7. | Kanye West’s confidence coach. |
| 6. | McDonalds Mystery Shopper – travel round the country sampling McDonald’s fine, if identical menu, rating the meals, confirming that they all taste exactly the same: sawdust and ketchup in a cardboard bun. |
| 5. | Krispy Kreme “hot-doughnut-free-sample-giver” – 10,000 diabetics killed and counting! |
| 4. | Chairperson of the ANC Ethics Committee. Conflict of interest? What conflict of interest? |
| 3. | Apple’s new product name giver – just add an ‘i’ in front of everything, e.g. iPod, iPad, iLazy. |
| 2. | Change manager – job involves ephemeral things like communication, stakeholder management and receptivity to change. There’s no plan and no discernable deliverables (unless of course you count a chocolate on everyone’s desk, with the quote “The only constant is change” stapled to it, as a deliverable). All you get is an invoice at the end of the month for “Change Activities”. |
| 1. | The long-legged, blonde and brunette in tiny “military” dresses plying patrons with Smirnoff vodka Moscow Mule cocktails on Friday afternoon at JB’s Corner. We bought twelve! |
Any other suggestions for easiest job in the world, let me know at diary@jeetesh.net
